Professor Pozzulo’s Pick (Feb, 2026)

 

Professor Pozzulo’s Pick (February, 2026)

Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes by Dr. Sunita Sah (2025, published by One World)

My take:

Do you find yourself saying, “yes”, when you really want to say, “no”. In Defy: The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes, Dr. Sah will help you understand why we acquiesce and how we can say “no”. She helps you recognize the tension that surfaces and the stages of when the answer is a “true no”. This book is about learning to live in accordance with your values, that in turn, can support your well-being.

Sah defines defiance as “acting in accordance with your true values when there is pressure to do otherwise”. She notes five stages of defiance;

Stage 1 = tension

Stage 2 = acknowledgement to ourselves

Stage 3 = escalation (vocalize to others)

Stage 4 = threat of non-compliance

Stage 5 = act of defiance

She highlights several real-world examples as how “going along” or complying can have dire consequences. Intriguingly, when you resist resistance, it can feel like anxiety.

Sah provides several strategies for how we can deal with the issue of compliance. Taking a pause or a “time-out” -- both physical and psychological -- can provide an opportunity to process what is being asked and to evaluate the best course of action that aligns with your values. Another strategy, involves, talking to ourselves in the moment which can help regulate our emotions, and using your own name in that conversation can make it even more impactful (you may recall this strategy from our pick, Chatter by Ethan Kross).

When faced with a situation that creates tension, ask questions. Simply asking, “what do you mean by that” can raise awareness in yourself and the other person which may help slow down a situation. Slowing down a situation can be helpful to better determine how to respond.

Sah provides a glossary of terms that can help keep track of concepts. At the end of the book, you also will find a brief interview with Sah to gain an even greater insight on why Sah wrote the book. This book is a timely read!

How do you feel when you comply but want to defy? Have you tried any strategies to help defy or recognize when you should defy? Has saying “no” improved your well-being? Has saying “no” helped others with their well-being?

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