Professor Pozzulo’s Pick (Mar, 2026)

 

Professor Pozzulo’s Pick (March, 2026)

Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose by Jennifer Breheny Wallace (2026, published by Portfolio)



My take:

Despite today’s all-consuming digital connectivity, many of us feel more disconnected than ever. In Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose, Wallace makes a compelling case that mattering is essential to a life of meaning and well-being. Wallace notes that “true mattering requires a balance between adding value to others and feeling valued ourselves”. An imbalance can leave us feeling emotionally drained and overwhelmed.

Having people in our life who are invested in our growth facilitates our feeling of mattering. Wallace identifies five elements to building a “mattering core”:

1. Recognition – you and your actions are valued, and your absence would be felt

2. Reliance - you feel needed because others depend on you

3. Importance - you feel significant because you’re prioritized

4. Ego-extension – you feel cared for because others are invested in your well-being

5. Attunement – you feel deeply understood and meaningfully responded to

Wallace provides many strategies on how we can achieve these elements along with real-life examples of these elements in action. Although spending some time alone is essential to restore and to maintain our well-being (recall, our recent pick The Joy of Solitude by Coplan), setting aside an hour a week for meaningful connection can reduce stress and burnout.

Wallace discusses how transitions in life may make us vulnerable to a feeling of not mattering but with a change in our mindset (recall, our previous pick, The Positive Shift by Sanderson) we can find new ways to matter along with relationships that matter. This is a critical book for anyone feeling “disconnected”.

Consider who shows up for you and who you show up for. Do you need to make any changes in your behaviour? Have you tried any strategies suggested by Wallace to increase mattering? How is mattering impacting your well-being?

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