Professor Pozzulo’s Pick (June, 2026)
Professor Pozzulo’s Pick (June, 2026)
Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How “Small” Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life, by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom (2026)
My take:
Ever feel like you want to chat, but everyone you know is busy? Why not venture down to your local coffee shop and strike up a conversation with the cashier, barista, or even the person standing in line? In Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life, Sandstrom explains the benefits of talking to strangers. If you’re anything like me, you may be thinking, “I’m not comfortable talking to strangers!”. But by the end of the book, you may be ready to give it a try.
Sandstrom has made it her mission to understand why we feel anxious even thinking about talking to strangers and how pushing through our fears may give us massive well-being benefits and may even change our life. As Sandstrom demonstrates talking to strangers is a skill that can be learned and developed. The more conversations you have with strangers, the easier it gets.
Every day we have opportunities to create moments of connection with people we may never see again. Talking to strangers decreases loneliness, increases connectedness and adds spontaneity and novelty to your life. Talking to strangers is an opportunity for a laugh, learning, and connection. A quick chat – or even a simple, “good morning” or a smile - creates a moment of connection where both people feel seen and that they matter (think our previous pick, Mattering by Jennifer Breheny Wallace).
Sandstrom’s goal with this book is to remind all of us why it’s meaningful and healthy to talk to strangers. If you are feeling a little apprehensive or not sure where to start, Sandstrom provides several tips and strategies in the Appendix.
I will admit that this book is a bit out of my comfort zone but I am willing to give it a try the next time I am waiting for my latte. The well-being benefits are worth it!
How often do you talk to strangers? Have you tried any strategies to increase your conversations with people you don’t know? Check in with yourself after these brief chats to notice how it makes you feel.
This looks very interesting.
ReplyDeleteNot sure this is in my comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to reading this one.
ReplyDeleteThis looks like such a great book.
ReplyDeleteWe all remember how isolated we felt during COVID. Since we began socialing again, I've noticed how much I appreciate being acknowledged by others. Our acknowledgement or conversations don't need to be long or in-depth, for us to feel that connection. I'm looking forward to reading this book.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. Yes, even brief exchanges with strangers help us feel connected and can boost our mood. I'm always amazed that I feel brighter and lighter after a brief exchange. Joanna
DeleteThere's always the fear that a stranger doesn't want to engage with someone they don't know.
ReplyDeleteVery true! The book addresses this concern and the research suggests that more often than not, it is a positive interaction. There are some considerations to be mindful of, e.g., location, safety, etc. A brief exchange with a cashier at your local coffee shop, might be a great opportunity to try it out. Check in with yourself afterwards and see how you are feeling. Joanna
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